You know that nagging feeling that tells you you could be doing so much more with your life? That little voice that’s always in the back of your head? I’ve been trying to kill mine for a while now. I thought I’d succeeded, and maybe I did…. maybe more likely I just scared it away for a little while.
However, I think he sent in his evil twin brother as backup – that nagging little feeling that tells me maybe the reason I’m not doing more with my life is that I can’t, that I’m not good enough, that I can try, but I’ll only fail.
I want my old voice back. Old nagging “you’re being lazy; do something worthwhile and stop procrastinating” voice, please come back to me. I’d take you over crippling self-doubt any day.
William Shakespeare wrote: ”Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt” (Measure for Measure). This simple idea rings so true, especially for me, a girl afraid of everything, even my own dreams.
I recently started a book that I’m hoping will change my life (or at least inspire me to change it myself), and I came across this passage:
They liked to talk about their dreams, but in the end, they left them just as dreams. They didn’t know …. that dreams are in fact realities waiting to happen. But they don’t wait forever.At some point you have to help them make the transition. Or eventually, they just fade away.
– John Strelecky, Life Safari
Again, true words. And they made me realize that being scared is silly, that I may fail, but failing would be so much better than sitting by and letting my dreams “just fade away.” I can deal with failure; I’m tried and true on that front. I’m not so sure I’d ever be able to cope with allowing my dreams to die. I don’t want to find out the answer to Langston Hughes’ age-old question.
It won’t happen overnight, and I’ll probably still be scared a lot. But, at least I won’t have to say I never tried.